I felt the need the be brutally honest.
I would like to lead people to believe that coming to England and experiencing this new lifestyle is nothing but rainbows and butterflies, but its not.
It is coming up to 6 weeks since I arrived and the distance is really hitting me. I am homesick beyond belief at the moment and really struggling to get up and do things each day.
Don't get me wrog I am so so lucky and so blessed to be given the opportunity to do this. The family I work for are AMAZING and very understanding of the need for personal space, and so inviting when I want to be involved in what they are doing. I also have the most flexible second job, and work with staff who are lovely but I feel so alone. I am used to having my family just a two minute drive away. At home I can just jump in my car and visit family, or a friend if I wanted company. Or I could pick up the phone and talk for 1, 2, 3 hours and it not cost me $100!
Sure, I get along with people at work but I find it really hard to make 'friends'. Outside of work I don't speak to them. I feel really alone and lost. I feel really isolated at the moment and its turning me into this whining, complaining sook that I am not usually like, and I hate it. I feel bogged down by responsibilities and money I owe someone and I just want to scream. Really loud...
On a brighter note, my SoGoPro T-shirt arrived today. I ordered it a little over 2 weeks ago and have been waiting in anticipation. I guess today was the perfect day for i to arrive, I really needed something to remind me to 'hang in there'. It was discovering SGP that reignited this spark inside of me that in the end, brought me to England. I really believe in the company, and they make me believe in myself. So as damn hard as these feelings are right now, I am going to hang in there because there are so many big and bright things ahead in the future, I just have to hold on and experience the journey. I am strong, I just have to look at this black ink on my left wrist to remind me :)
Thank you to the SGP crew/Hilarie for the quotes that came with the T-shirt. They couldn't be more fitting if tried.
Eli - going to get ready for work!
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I totally understand what you mean, loneliness is really hard and I feel pretty much the same every time we're back from Greece where we're surrounded by family & friends all day...
ReplyDeleteI don't know what to suggest and I'm a bit too far away to come to keep you company! Just try not to think about it, the more you think about being lonely the worse it gets. And meet Jenny as often as you can!
Take care xxx
Heya!
ReplyDeleteI understand when you say that its not all butterfly's and rainbows here, it's not.
But i hope you can stick it out like you say 'your strong' and im sure that you will come to enjoy it here more and experiance all the good things about england and your local area.. There is lots to explore so hopefully keeping yourself a little busy in the meantime will do the trick..
Ruth xoxox
*hugs* There really is no place like home. I hope things get better for you.
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